What do guys like?
Liz: What do guys like?
Frank: Porn.
Liz: No, I mean if you were gonna go on a date with a woman, how would you want her to act?
Frank: Like she was in a porn.
*Note: Quoted from the famous television series 30 Rock.
Filed under: 1 | 5 Comments
Tags: Comedy
My pinky, your pinky… gee!
Russell Peters provoked me do this, big time. Really! Remember how you see these expatriates on the road side holding hands? And remember how everyone labeled it gay all the effing time? And do you clearly remember some of us defending them, probably saying that they were alone in a foreign land with no friends, so just let them do their “jolly-holding-hands-friendly” things? Well apparently that’s not true. Hell! It’s in their blood, I tell you! It’s all over the place, everyone does it. Don’t believe me? Get a plane ticket and fly over to India. Witness it first hand.
No matter how old or young you are, they hold hands. And I don’t mean girl and boy. Or girl and girl, which is a usual sight back at home. But boy and boy, man and man. And it’s not even the whole hand. It’s PINKY to PINKY! Just like how I used to hold my Mom’s pinky when she used to take me to grade school.
But do grown men hold each others pinky when they take a walk? Or when they’re just having a talk? Can’t they just let go of that pinky? C’mon, you’re just standing there and talking. A UFO is not gonna be abducting your friend in a split second that you didn’t know what happened with that flash of light. Hell, feel free to kick whosoevers privates if they’re trying to pull your friend away from you.
I don’t have anything against homosexuals. But seriously, if you’re not homosexual and you just love to hold your male-friends pinky while you walk, that ain’t any good. It’s just not appealing. Russell Peters was right, two grown up men, holding hands, walking along the beach, trying to pick-up a girl is definitely the wrong combination. Straight men just don’t hold hands!
Filed under: General, Life | 5 Comments
Learning to fly.
Sometimes life can be so unfair. It can be everything that you don’t want it to be, and on top of the undefinable feeling of hatred for this thing called “life” when you think life sucks, you lose all your senses of rationalization and all those happy memories that this thing called life gave you. Basically when life kicks back, as hard as it can, you lose all your senses. You curse all those happy people out there, getting what they wanted when they wanted just because you’re so unfortunate or maybe just because god hates you, you never get what you wanted. Right? You never think of the times you got it right. But every god damned frigging time something goes wrong, you think negative. Does everything you think have to be negative all the time? Is life basically negative itself?
Which makes me think, what is life? Is it fate? Or is it choices that you make?
Fate you say? Would you like to think that you’re not in control of your today? Or rather perhaps tomorrow? How easy would it be to blame your past on fate? Damn easy, right? If life was about fate, would you ever learn from your mistakes? I guess you won’t ‘cos, hey! Lets blame it on fate! Jolly lovely it’ll be. If it was fate, how do you justify yourself when life kicks back? Would you feel comfort ‘cos “fate” had it planned out for you to be hurt? Answer it yourself. If fate had all those unhappy moment planned out for you, and only for you, as you think, would you be a happy person? Living everyday as fate had planned it out for you?
So, does it means life is choices? Most probably, I’d say. It’s the choices that we make. To go right or left. To be sad or happy. To be mad or perhaps, numb? You’re in a shit hole today ‘cos you didn’t want to be grateful to that person who gave you the life. You’re in the shit hole because you didn’t listen to your loved ones when they tried to help you. You’re in the shit hole today because you chose it on your own. Why call life unfair when it’s basically the choice you made which made you end up where you are now? Somewhere down the line you screwed up. Admit it. You can’t curse the other ‘cos they got what they wanted and you ended up being shattered.
Life is not unfair. Life is just life, going on everyday as it’s supposed to be. But only according to the turns and decisions you made yesterday, you are making now, which you would make tomorrow. Just because life is unfair doesn’t mean you have to end it. Just because you didn’t get the first price at the end of the race doesn’t mean life have a thing against you. Maybe it’s just not your time to shine yet. Maybe your time is yet to come.
Did you ever look into the mirror and saw through yourself? You see what you are now. Blonde, brunette or maybe bald, does it matter how you look today? You never see tomorrow. But you can always imagine what you want your tomorrow to be. Life can have pretty surprising things planned out for you. You might get an salary increase. A new job or maybe win that damn expensive car you always wanted but never got, ‘cos that jock down the block won it last week and added it as the third expensive car in his garage. Maybe you’ll get that scholarship you’ve been dying for, or win that girls heart you’ve had a crush on since middle soon. Or rather perhaps, you’ll learn how to fly.
Filed under: General, Life | 9 Comments
Jumbled Thoughts. Part 2.
I wonder why the author of “Men are from Mars and women are from Venus” chose those two planets to be included in the title. Why Mars and Venus? Why not Saturn and Jupiter. Doesn’t Jupiter, the biggest planet, look more manly than Mars? Saturn, with all it’s colorful rings, more feminine than Venus? If I was that author I would have chosen Saturn and Jupiter! Men are from Jupiter and Women are from Saturn! There, a new title to the book but it won’t be about relationships. Why do we have to write about relationships if we were to talk about men and women? Everything is always about relationships now.
Don’t agree? Let me tell you. One third of the kids my age constantly talk about how this that went well but in most cases bad with their “counter part(s)”, the other one third sulks of not having one and the remaining one third basically have no idea what the hell they are up to half the time they’re alive.
When you meet a friend after a while, you get asked either one of the following lines, usually”
1. Hey! How are you? You’ve gotten so fat/thin!
2. Hi! Whats up? When are you getting married?
It’s so annoying. Maybe the girl/boy have a reason to be single and she/he doesn’t want everyone to know about it. Same goes to being fat/thin. Can’t people talk about the weather? No one cares about the environment anymore. As in the Ice Age 2, animated movie, we would be in deep shit of trouble when the solar caps melt. There won’t be two big sharp toothed fishes coming out, but it’s going to be huge quantities of water, rising the sea level and countries like Maldives would be in deep trouble hard to get out of! Better start migrating now eh? Where to? South pole which is already melting?
I wonder if there’s one big Island, like in the series Lost, undiscovered that all Maldivians could migrate to. But without the “hostiles” and “hatches” please. We don’t need crazy humans testing on us few Maldivians making us extinct. No maybe that would be better. Then there’d be no more child gang rapists getting a new sentence of 2 years banishment rather than the 08 months which it was before. What good does that make? 8 months, 18 months, 24 months which is the maximum as I’ve heard. Banishment to an island? Wonder how well that would reform the guys who did it. Isn’t punishment the way to limit crimes? Wouldn’t banishing them to an Island, full of happy people as well as kids (12 year old kids too!) give these criminals a free environment to live, be subject to socializing, come and go where ever they want in that island? When would they start realizing the crime they did? When would these guys feel ashamed of what they did? Maybe they already do. But still, banishment to an island is not the verdict to be given to gang rapists. Period.
We need the new penal code, and if I renew it, I’d make it a lot more strict on punishments! I see criminals going in and out of jail every 06 months or so as if it’s fancy merry-go-round. Do it again, be taken again and be released again. Time to do it again. The punishments given aren’t preventive, deterrent, reformative and definitely not the least bit retributive. It’s just merry-go-round-ish!
Filed under: Jumbled Thoughts | 8 Comments
Why women need to study
So this pal said, “whats the use of getting a degree when you’re gonna sit at home and make babies afterwards?”. Seems women do study higher and apparently its unnecessary. In fact I guess women study harder than most men. Maybe we’re more into this whole studying from the book stuff than you guys. Note the word “most” before you get all jumpy jumpy.
Well, actually I’ve asked the same thing few months ago. “Whats the use of myself/another girl wasting 3-5 years getting higher education if we’re gonna stick to our homes and make babies once we’re back and decides to get married? Why don’t we get a job during the whole ’supposed-to-be-waste’ 3-5 years and save some money? Live an enjoyable life exam-free?” But alas, my analysis came out negative.
We can’t possibly live thinking that this whole getting higher education is unnecessary and save approximately MRF12,000 annually given we get into the government and starts to get paid MRF2170 monthly for a *insert title of post here* (trainee) and spend MRF1000 monthly on other stuff life cosmetics/extra curricular activities (at least that’s hopefully gonna change with this new year eh?), and in the other scenario join the private sector and save a lot more than the annual MRF12,000 as mentioned before but then quit once you’re making babies, spend all you’ve managed to get saved over a couple of years/most likely months and find out your scumbag of a husband is cheating and decides to get separate/get married with a second wife.
I say, women need to study to secure their future. An uncertain future. Uncertainty of the common natural activities which can one day destroy your life savings and most dangerously your hopes. Hopes when shattered might result either in slow decay of your living self or rather sudden death. Seriously! So given the chances that men can’t keep whats necessary in their pants for long us women got to secure an inviting future for the sake of the uncertain that might happen.
Gee, and I sound like a feminist now. So to set the record straight, it also goes out to the scumbag women who might unintentionally but most likely intentionally destroy their marriage by keeping those which ought to be closed wide open. They too got to have some sort of a way to get a better employment than the usual *insert title of post here* (trainee) post which takes a whole of 4 damned years to get over with the (trainee) part despite of their infidelity.
Coming back to the MRF12,000 that’s suppose to get stocked up in your account annually, what happens when you have to get a divorce and spends MRF5,000 on that? That is half of an years savings. *Sigh!*
Filed under: General | 8 Comments
Sigh, I’m bored. Really, I’m really bored. Why? Cos I didn’t have anything to do today. Why? Cos I didn’t have any classes. It’s all been cancelled for 3 days since yesterday. Few hours ago, my boyfriend asked me, “do you miss not having to go to classes?” for which I surprised myself saying “yes.” Shocker! I hate waking up to go attend classes and when I don’t have, I’m all bored cos I didn’t have to do anything today. Bummer!
There he said so too, I hate going to work but when I don’t I’m bored at home. Dear, I don’t even feel like ranting. I thought I’d enjoy somewhat by ranting and I ain’t. I ain’t in the mood. *Yawn!*
Why is it that we can’t enjoy a free day? Finally at the end of the day, cos you didn’t have to do all those daily scheduled stuff you do, you’re all bored? How much more complicated can life get? When you’re all messed up cos you didn’t get to do those oh-my-god-there’s-nothing-in-the-world-I-hate-more-than-this stuff you have to do daily. Seriously, my mind (if it’s yours too, then your’s too!) is messed up beyond any recognition. Can’t I enjoy these sudden holidays I got? Damn, I didn’t know attending regular classes would mess me up this much. If I knew , I wouldn’t have. *Snicker snicker!*
*Silence!*
Yeah for real! *Sudden burst of laughter!*
Filed under: General | 10 Comments
Wanna be a novelist?
I haven’t read a romantic novel for the past few years. For about 4 or 5 years. I remember the last one I read which was “Accident” from Daniel Steel and it was ’cause my Sis and people highly recommended I read it. I still remember that! Gosh… Anyways, why I don’t read “romantic” novels is cause they all seems to be the same to me. This girl falls in love with a man whom she doesn’t have the slightest chance of dating, but in the end it all works out, somehow. Most frequently, it’s after few random sex sessions, multiple years of no contact and finally meeting each other at the weirdest scenario ever when they both would have come pretty close to forgetting each other, finds out that they still have that “click” they experienced donkey years ago and they live happily ever after.
Anyways, the other day me and my apartment mate went book shopping for a girl who loves romantic novels and I decided that I wanted to read a novel too. Romantic of course. But unfortunately my attention was caught by this book named Cold Blooded by Lisa Jackson in the romantic novel section. I read it. It wasn’t romantic at all! It was a thriller. With big time gruesome killing scenes and of course what constituted romantic. Sex.
After the book ended it occurred to me that everyone can be a novelist. As long as you let your imagination go to the furthest and most importantly the ugliest and most vulgar, you’re in the right track. Really! Romantic, thriller, horror, whatever. What’s most important is that, you have one sick brain. Trust me, you write the most sickest thing ever and readers like me would be intrigued to read it and keep the pages turning.
Really, the craziest and vulgar it got, the better the book is. But then you experience the inevitable cliche’ in these. You kinda “know” what is going to happen. A woman and a man gets “clicked”, gets to have a one night stand. The man rejects the womans presence in his life ’cause his work is more important and most importantly ’cause he can’t let personal interest cloud his judgment. The woman gets overly depressed, tries to find salvation and gets to meet a priest. Now the woman and the priest gets the “click” and nearly ends up having sex. For god sake, it’s a PRIEST and HE! He happens to be the half brother of the work addicted lover! Oh my unimaginable thoughts of multiple unimaginable other thoughts! How can that be? Eh? And then again, to your inevitable surprise, it seems the work addicted lover and his half brother are no longer on talking terms as the prestigious titled “priest” had in the past, slept with the work addicted lover’s now deceased wife who had committed suicide, whom had given birth to the girl whom the work addicted lover thought was his, which was later revealed to him as not his own daughter but his half brothers, who is also a priest. Did I get that right? Damn! Fortunately yes.
Gosh. So really, if you can plot up a huge crazy vulgar plot in your head, my dear friend, maybe one day you’ll be a world famous novelist too. Nice ain’t it? And most luckily, as long as sick minded people like me exist who reads such stuff, you’ll be in business. Now start writing!
Filed under: General | 7 Comments
Jumbled Thoughts. Part 1.
I’ve got so much to do, but I don’t feel like doing them. I tend to push off stuff when I don’t feel like it, but there are the type who do them cause they have to. Now that’s a different issue. Sometimes I’m like, “How in the world are you gonna do it if you don’t feel like it? Ei?” You won’t even give your hundred percent into it. Duh! It’ll be one piece of poop on poop when it’s done. And after days you take a look at it and go, “Say, I could’ve done better than that.” Why even do it if you’re going to say that after few days, why not wait? *Evil smirk!*
Lately, I’ve been reading these few blogs regularly. Daily, if they get updated. Well, when you get an internet connection and nothing better to do, reading is good. Especially what some people have to say. Well if you think I am anti-social , a nerd, lowlife female, some sorta freak addicted to reading blogs, boring girl who sticks in her room too much or anything of a weird character not mentioned, take a good look at yourself mate. Oops!
Funny ain’t it? How people are so different? But still you nod your head to all the differences and give them a smile. Don’t know about you, but I do enjoy a different piece of flavor. (Ah, cut out that “ooh-tied-to-the-bed-pole” thought out your head, freako!) Personality wise. It’s good to meet different personalities every now and then. Helps to open your mind to the world, doesn’t it? To look at the broader picture in a broader sense. If it’s biographies, interaction, blogs, so what? It’s good.
Going back to what I really started to write about, you can’t do what you don’t feel like doing. Really!
Filed under: Jumbled Thoughts | 3 Comments
The Cool People
Ahhh! Sometimes I just let Watterson say it all.
Filed under: Comic Strips | 2 Comments
Mature to Immature. Bleh!
Some people feels so helpless given minimum amount of stress level. In a fraction of a second they feel utterly depressed and extremely deprived of moral sense to a level of no return. I mean come on! It’s just the most minimum level of stress you can find on Earth and you’re giving up so soon? What a waste of a human brain! Say, better you loan it to someone worthy eh? She knows that she’s got the capability to handle the stress. The capability to make it happen. The capability to finish off the race she started given the fences she’ll have to avoid, jump, climb or smash down along the way. But she doesn’t have the “courage” to do so. Courage she says? What nonsense!
What did she do when she felt helpless years ago? When she felt the same amount of stress and much more? Well she didn’t let those tears fall. She didn’t crawl under the blankets and slept. Well she didn’t do it, then. Obviously! She had the brains/intelligence to cope with problems, to make things happen and to over-come stress. Where did all that go? Did it vanish? Or is it still there, somewhere deep inside her?
Is it that with time people become more stupid? The more they see of the world, the more they make the wrong judgments? Or wait, maybe it’s because the more they try to gain knowledge, the more they lose intelligence? A lot of people say, “I was born smart, education ruined me.” Whoa! So maybe thats it! Maybe she or we don’t need to study at all. But isn’t it the other way round? The more you study, the more you learn. Hence the more intelligent you become. Provided you don’t over-do it and become a total lunatic in the process.
Why is it that some people you know that have the brains to be much more than what she/he is today breaks down, starts whimpering as if the whole population of cannibals have kidnapped them, tied them naked to a tree and starts drooling, when it’s actually the tiniest bit of stress pointed at them. Obviously they excelled in their past but not anymore. Why? Cos they’re stupid! And scared. Cowards! What ever it is, deal with it!
Filed under: General | 2 Comments
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